I didn’t set out to create a protocol.
I simply wanted to pause and reflect more deeply on the conversations I was having with people who were struggling.
I spent 12 years as a crisis counselor (“CISM Specialist”) at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center (FLETC), where I was given the gift of sitting with professionals from all over the country who were training to become federal agents and officers. It was, in many ways, a “petri dish” of human diversity.
I was exposed to different cultures, norms, languages, faiths, personalities, and practices — all while noticing deep similarities within the human experience of suffering.
Often, after long days, I found myself at home journaling about the day’s experiences — not documenting personal or identifiable information, but a debriefing practice where I started noticing patterns.
Slowly, A Pattern Emerged
As I continued reflecting, journaling, and debriefing conversations, I noticed a rhythm that seemed to show up again and again in every meaningful support conversation I enjoyed.
As I reflected on these conversations, I began noticing a rhythm.
It often started with simply showing up — not just physically sitting with someone, but being emotionally present, choosing to care, and remaining genuinely curious about what was weighing on them.
From there, conversations naturally invited leaning in — asking questions that helped explore what was happening beneath the surface instead of remaining only at the level of the presenting problem.
And as people continued talking, I noticed myself listening differently.
Not just listening to the problem…
but listening through it.
Listening for what the person was personally struggling with about the problem.
Sometimes beneath the anger was fear.
Beneath frustration was grief.
Beneath confusion was shame, loneliness, helplessness, or exhaustion.
The more I reflected, the more I realized that people were rarely seeking support for facts alone. More often, they were struggling with what the experience meant to them personally — emotionally, mentally, relationally, or spiritually.
What began as journaling slowly became clarity.
And over time, that clarity became the foundation for what would eventually become the 6-Part Protocol©.
An Invitation to Reflect
Now, I find myself inviting others into that same practice.
Whether you have:
- sat with a grieving friend,
- supported a struggling colleague,
- walked alongside someone through crisis,
- paused after a difficult conversation,
- or simply felt the weight of your own internal struggle…
reflection matters.
Sometimes growth does not happen in the moment itself. Sometimes growth happens afterward — when we pause long enough to think more deeply about what unfolded, what mattered, what stretched us, and what strengthened us.
That is often where wisdom begins to form.
From Information to Integration
My hope is that Helpers continue moving:
- from information to integration,
- from memorizing steps to living a rhythm,
- from knowing skills to embodying them with others,
- and from showing up for someone else to also showing up for themselves.
Because meaningful support is not simply about learning what to say.
It is about becoming the kind of person who can remain present, grounded, compassionate, and connected in difficult moments. And sometimes, that kind of growth begins quietly.
With a pause — and the willingness to reflect honestly on what it means to care for another human being.